If I am not afraid of getting AIDS, why should I be afraid of COVID?
Reproduksjon av et digitalt kunstverk, digitalt kunstkollage med «Vanitas» av Jan sanders van hemessen (ca 1535).
- Klassifikasjon
- Essay
English Comment by artist Dante Solomon
(Queering the Quarantine was an action organized by the research collective queer/disrupt aiming to create an archive of queer experiences during COVID-19 through an open call for objects. “If I am not afraid of getting AIDS, why should I be afraid of COVID?” was one of the prize winning submissions. )
“If I am not afraid of getting AIDS, why should I be afraid of COVID?” I heard someone say that, this summer. I was shocked. As much by their statement on AIDS, than the one on COVID. This rhetorical question pointed out how similar these two pandemics are, but also how queer people’s experience with HIV is deeplyinfluencing their relationship with other diseases and their own health. Despite HIV’s death toll at the beginning of the HIV pandemic, many people stopped caring about it and some even developed some sort of desire for the virus, leading to the culture of bug chasing and gift giving. Desires of life were intertwined with desires of death. And in a way, it is exactly what is happening with the coronavirus. Because, we all want to live life at the fullest, it’shuman. But the sanitary measures are necessary to preserve that life, just like condoms and Prep. The statement was used as a justification for breaking the lockdown rules for random hookups. It is something I understand, because the impulse is obviously still there, despite the lockdown. I can understand lust, wanting to live, not just surviving. I can understand not caring that you are endangering your own health. However, I don’t think I will ever be able to understand the absence of guilt when it comes to the possibility of infecting others. I just wished they felt some sort of guilt. Because I do. I feel guilty for not respecting social distancing.
I live with my parents, but my own desires of freedom gave me COVID. I could have killed my parents. I have been interested for a while in the painting “Vanitas” by painter Jan Sanders van Hemessen. I think it perfectlyrepresents queer vanity, which is why I used it as a base for my work. I wanted it to be seen as a double reflection of this vanity, diffracted by the central statement. I also wanted to play with symmetry and antisymmetry, since, for me, they are central notions when it comes to infecting others, and the underlyingresponsibilities and guilt. To contextualize the painting into both the COVID and AIDS pandemics, I complemented it using symbols of these diseases, but also queer symbols. Obviously, the masks have a double purpose, as they also reflect the idea of anonymity, which is constantly present in the queer community. I cannot tell how many times I have seen a picture of someone’s genitals before their face, which is partly why I integrated one of these anonymous “dick pics.'' However, most of the added pictures are photographs I took myself, of myself and my things. Because, I needed to be present in some way in this work. Because, it’s not just an outside commentary on the queer community in the pandemics, it’s my own subjective vision of it, and also of myself within it. Because it’s also about my snot, about my blood, about my cum. Because, it’s about my guilt.
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